I'M A PUBLISHED AUTHOR (and other news)

You guys! I am a published author! I'm an official contributor to The Mighty! And I'm currently on the front page as a Featured Story. I'm over the moon, dancing on air, etc. etc. Read the story here and give me a like and maybe a comment if you like it. I wouldn't hate it if you share the article with your friends, either.

My parents are coming for a visit this week and I'm very excited to share my home and my city with them. My husband and I have come up with a list of mini adventures to take them on. We'll try to take some pictures for you all, but we'll more likely be too busy enjoying the moment to capture it on camera.

I currently have a cold, muscle spasms, and viral pink eye in both eyes accompanied by a sore throat. I went to the ER last week for two IV bags of fluid, as my body wasn't processing the water I was putting in it and I was severely dehydrated. I ended up in the ER for the second time in two weeks with a left eye so swollen I couldn't see. We met with an amazing doctor and he gave me eye drops that already have reduced the swelling almost completely. I do enjoy medicine when it works well. My husband has told me that this is my body's way of making me take the rest that it needs. He has been urging me to take days off for weeks, and now I am forced to rest and sleep and not touch anything, as the infection is incredibly contagious and I have two dogs and a husband I could infect if I am not careful. I'm actually grateful for this, in a weird way. I cannot get the manic side of me to let me rest unless I have no choice. And now I have no choice. Take that, manic tendencies!

I wish you all could have the joy of watching baby Jeph discover the wonder of squeaky chew toys. He loves to cuddle with them. He loves to chew them. He loves to lick them. He loves to roll around on top of them on the ground. He loves to fight over them with Riley. As I type this, I am slowly going deaf from an extremely happy pup chewing on his orange plastic squeaky bone on the couch next to me.

Mr. Jeph is learning very quickly. And I'm learning how to work with him more effectively. He needs a very different type of training approach than Riley did. He is full of energy and eager to please. And, bonus points, he is very food motivated! He will do whatever it takes to get that training treat. But since he is a puppy, sometimes he thinks that whatever it takes to get that training treat means attacking the hand with the treat in it, barking at the hand with the treat, rolling around on the floor, and various other adorable antics. It is hard to not get frustrated with him at times. But, just like a human student, if an approach isn't working, the teacher should try a different approach. He has learned "Sit," "Wait," "No Voice (a variation of "Quiet"), "With Me (a variation of "Heel"), "Leave It," and is starting to understand "Lie Down." He also knows to wait quietly for me to take his leash off when we come home from a walk or the dog park. He knows to sit and wait for his food at mealtimes. He understands the humans do not like being chewed on. He is beginning to understand Bedtime, and even voluntarily goes to his kennel when he is tired. He has made great strides with his confidence around other dogs. He no longer pees on me when he sees another canine, but he does take refuge between my feet when overwhelmed. He has been to the mall, an auto parts store, and a grocery store. He is also beginning to get wheelchair trained, as my new ride Priscilla (my manual wheelchair) will be a permanent fixture in our house now. And the accidents have nearly disappeared! After such a long time, I think it is safe to say that our potty training problem might be nearly solved. Jeph does keep having small accidents when he is asleep, as his body completely relaxes and he leaks. But overall, we are making strides and we will get to our goals eventually.

For months, my husband has been talking to me about me finding a hobby I can do. My old hobbies are not available to me with my current health state. He has also drawn out of me my love for Barbies. I used to be an avid collector. I had hundreds of Barbies, Skippers, Stacies, Kellys, and all their houses, zoos, doctors offices, animals, farms, cars, basically anything I could get my hands on. I would spend hours staging the houses with little utensils and plates perfectly placed on the dining table, the rubber ducks sitting on the side of the Barbie tub, and the living room arranged for maximum entertaining potential. I also loved creating outfits out of scraps of fabric, paper, yarn, anything I could find. For Easter, my husband surprised me with four Barbies from the new Fashionistas line! This is the line with four body types! They are: the original Barbie proportions, a "curvy" doll, a "petite" doll, and a "tall" doll. I'm just so excited because these Barbies are really amazing and their proportions are true to life! And just like that, my new hobby became clear. I'm going back to my old hobby with a twist. I'm going to be creating doll clothes for these new real-life-proportions Barbies! I'm just absolutely in love with the idea of creating fashion for these little dolls with my own hands. And I'm marathoning Project Runway for inspiration. And who knows, if I get good enough, I could sell some. But the point of the hobby isn't to make money, it's to have fun. And I'm so ready to have fun!

I think that this is all the updates for tonight. I'm off to take a nap and take some more virus medication. Love to you all!

Psych!

Yesterday, I went to a two hour psychiatry intake appointment. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done. It is right up there with surgeries, teeth extractions, and staying in a room where there is a spider on the wall.
The building itself was probably the most run-down, creepy building I've seen. Think in your head of all the horror movies with psych hospitals, and then you have an idea of what I had to willingly walk in to. I almost couldn't get out of the taxi, as I was struck with such a paralyzing terror. I had been shaking all morning, and the moment I saw my destination, I couldn't breathe. Riley nudged me and made me get out of the car. She took me all the way to a building at the back of the creepy campus where the main entrance apparently was. She guarded me immediately upon entering, and did not stop guarding me for the next two and a half hours. If that doesn't tell you how awful the building was, I don't know what will. After getting registered at a run-down desk with people's pen marks all over it, I was led to a nurses' room to get my vitals checked. It was completely dark inside, as the nurses inside I guess don't believe in turning on the overhead lights. They took my vitals to the tune of someone's mixtape playing angrily in the background. I waited in a run-down, nasty waiting room. Then the grey clouds parted, so to speak, as I met the nurse who was going to be conducting my intense interview. She was a lovely person, and showed no signs of judgement no matter what I said. Her approach allowed me to open up and be incredibly honest with her the way I am honest with people I have known for years. After the interview, I had to wait in a nasty waiting room again for an appointment to get made, and guess who is returning to that awful building tomorrow for another two hour appointment where I will get a diagnosis and maybe some new medications? Me.
Last night, I broke down sobbing. I asked my husband what would happen if the diagnosis was something worse than what we thought. My loving husband held me and told me it wouldn't make a difference. He told me that we would just have a label for what is wrong and more possible treatments. He assured me he would stay with me no matter what and that we would get through the upcoming storms together, just as we have all the previous ones. I don't know what I would do without him as my rock. I never understood what people meant when they said things like "he is my rock" until I was married to him.
So listen up, hallucinations, voices, racing thoughts, flashbacks, panic, blank-out episodes, and everything else in my head. We're coming for you. Even if I have to go to every single creepy building in the world.

A Rambling Post About Weddings Because I'm Sick Today

Y'all, I'm so sick today. I'm not sure if it is just a nasty EDS day or if I'm actually sick or if there is some new underlying thing that I need to take care of. This is the game all of us chronic illness fighters deal with all the time. Is this a new symptom, am I sick, or is something seriously wrong? Bonus points if the answer is a combination of the three.
My wonderful husband bought me Season 1 of My Fair Wedding With David Tutera on Amazon Video. Little-known fact about me: I adore My Fair Wedding. I was so sad when it ended. I didn't necessarily like the later seasons where we saw behind the magic. Having been a stage manager, director, and mini event planner/coordinator myself, I didn't want to see the behind-the-scenes stress. I know what that stress is like. I love seeing the magic of everything come together and how David orchestrates it all and the results are gorgeous. My husband and I had a tiny courthouse wedding which was magical because it was our wedding, but if I had unlimited money, I'd have David Tutera design a vow renewal. I'd have to insist that Jeph would wear a tie and Riley would wear a flower, though.
My husband and I have been talking about doing a vow renewal eventually, probably on our 5-year anniversary. Of course, this is all just talk right now, but it is fun to dream about. Because of military things, we got married with just us and Riley and a judge and his clerk in a courthouse in a tiny town in Texas. I wore a short cream lace dress that I had originally bought for my bridal shower and rehearsal dinner. The wedding dress that I bought for a wedding with friends and family sits unused in our closet. It is gorgeous, and I would love to have a chance to wear it to a vow renewal. Even if our vow renewal is just the two of us again, I am going to wear that dress. If we do it. I'm repeating myself a lot. Can you tell I'm sick?
I used to think that maybe I would be a wedding designer someday. I love everything about it. The flowers, the dresses, the tables, the venues, etc. But nowadays, I'm just having fun secretly judging everyone else's weddings instead of designing them. I mean, um, I would never judge a wedding I was invited to because that would be so mean, right? I of course would never be openly judgmental at someone's wedding, because it is their day and if I was going to be outwardly snarky and mean, that would just be the absolute worst! It is the best day of their lives and they have invited me to be part of it and celebrate with them and it would be beyond rude and mean and just gross to be ungrateful and crabby at their party! But I will discuss weddings for days with friends and family, talking about the merits of everything from the colors and decor to the selection of food to the DJ, etc. That might be why I love shows like My Fair Wedding so much. All of the judging from the comfort of my own home and I never have to see the couple in real life and smile while they talk about how their wedding was the best wedding.
I've been to so many weddings, and I love it when a wedding feels like the couple. I have been to three weddings where that was the case. It was clear from the second I walked in that I was at their wedding and I was there to celebrate their love. The three weddings were all weddings in my friend group and the brides were all three my best friends. I actually cried at all three because I was so happy that there was no reason for my inner wedding critic to say anything. I was overjoyed that my best friends were having such good weddings!
To contrast, as a pastor's kid and growing up in a small community, I have been to a billion weddings (ok, maybe a million) and I absolutely hate it when it is obvious that the wedding has been planned by family or a friend or someone who doesn't know or care what the couple wants and the poor couple just has to shut up and attend their party because someone else is paying for it so they can't seem ungrateful. I've been to more than one wedding where the couple looked absolutely miserable all night and at least two weddings where the couple tried to skip out early to avoid having to smile and wave at an event they never wanted.
And open mics! Who ever thought that those were a good idea?! They aren't. Someone's drunk cousin/uncle/plus one always grabs the mic and tells some embarrassing, awful story and you can see the couple dying inside. And internet jokes! Enough with the internet jokes! They are the actual worst. No one actually thinks they are funny. The laughs that are heard are from the other drunk people in the room. Everything is funny after a few margaritas. Everything.
Because of allergies, I actually don't mind when there is a buffet at a wedding. As long as there is enough food and the lines aren't extremely long, why not? I get the whole "classy table service and set menu" thing, but I don't think buffets are tacky or gross or anything. If that's an affordable option for the bride and groom, why complain? Why complain about free food ever unless you get food poisoning (something that has happened to me at over five weddings)?
Oh, and please PLEASE stop with forcing your guests to sit through PowerPoint after PowerPoint of your baby pictures. Please. Unless the entire guest list is your close friends and family who have grown up with you and will enjoy the walk down memory lane, just don't. I was at one wedding where the PowerPoint presentations went on for forty minutes. I was actually ready to cry by the end. If you simply must do something like that, have it set up somewhere in the reception where if guests want to go look at your baby pictures, they can. I saw that done very tastefully during one couple's cocktail hour, and I actually voluntarily and happily went to go look at their picture presentation.
Yes, there will always be family member or friend group toasts that will be awkward. It is unavoidable. These people are overwhelmed with love for you and happiness about your marriage and they are going to go on and on about that time you were five and sat in a pot of pasta naked or whatever and you can try really hard to have them not do that, but someone will. The guests understand. I promise. I'm never judgy about such things, as I know that no amount of planning or prepping can stop the inevitable cringe-worthy moment. Unless, of course, you decide to do no toasts at all. But that's totally up to you.
This post is just a rant about weddings, isn't it? Oh well. You're all welcome for my thoughts. I'm going to snuggle up under my blanket and with my pillow on my couch and judge TV weddings for the rest of the day while trying to recover from whatever is going on with my body. Love to y'all!