Y'all, I'm so sick today. I'm not sure if it is just a nasty EDS day or if I'm actually sick or if there is some new underlying thing that I need to take care of. This is the game all of us chronic illness fighters deal with all the time. Is this a new symptom, am I sick, or is something seriously wrong? Bonus points if the answer is a combination of the three.
My wonderful husband bought me Season 1 of My Fair Wedding With David Tutera on Amazon Video. Little-known fact about me: I adore My Fair Wedding. I was so sad when it ended. I didn't necessarily like the later seasons where we saw behind the magic. Having been a stage manager, director, and mini event planner/coordinator myself, I didn't want to see the behind-the-scenes stress. I know what that stress is like. I love seeing the magic of everything come together and how David orchestrates it all and the results are gorgeous. My husband and I had a tiny courthouse wedding which was magical because it was our wedding, but if I had unlimited money, I'd have David Tutera design a vow renewal. I'd have to insist that Jeph would wear a tie and Riley would wear a flower, though.
My husband and I have been talking about doing a vow renewal eventually, probably on our 5-year anniversary. Of course, this is all just talk right now, but it is fun to dream about. Because of military things, we got married with just us and Riley and a judge and his clerk in a courthouse in a tiny town in Texas. I wore a short cream lace dress that I had originally bought for my bridal shower and rehearsal dinner. The wedding dress that I bought for a wedding with friends and family sits unused in our closet. It is gorgeous, and I would love to have a chance to wear it to a vow renewal. Even if our vow renewal is just the two of us again, I am going to wear that dress. If we do it. I'm repeating myself a lot. Can you tell I'm sick?
I used to think that maybe I would be a wedding designer someday. I love everything about it. The flowers, the dresses, the tables, the venues, etc. But nowadays, I'm just having fun secretly judging everyone else's weddings instead of designing them. I mean, um, I would never judge a wedding I was invited to because that would be so mean, right? I of course would never be openly judgmental at someone's wedding, because it is their day and if I was going to be outwardly snarky and mean, that would just be the absolute worst! It is the best day of their lives and they have invited me to be part of it and celebrate with them and it would be beyond rude and mean and just gross to be ungrateful and crabby at their party! But I will discuss weddings for days with friends and family, talking about the merits of everything from the colors and decor to the selection of food to the DJ, etc. That might be why I love shows like My Fair Wedding so much. All of the judging from the comfort of my own home and I never have to see the couple in real life and smile while they talk about how their wedding was the best wedding.
I've been to so many weddings, and I love it when a wedding feels like the couple. I have been to three weddings where that was the case. It was clear from the second I walked in that I was at their wedding and I was there to celebrate their love. The three weddings were all weddings in my friend group and the brides were all three my best friends. I actually cried at all three because I was so happy that there was no reason for my inner wedding critic to say anything. I was overjoyed that my best friends were having such good weddings!
To contrast, as a pastor's kid and growing up in a small community, I have been to a billion weddings (ok, maybe a million) and I absolutely hate it when it is obvious that the wedding has been planned by family or a friend or someone who doesn't know or care what the couple wants and the poor couple just has to shut up and attend their party because someone else is paying for it so they can't seem ungrateful. I've been to more than one wedding where the couple looked absolutely miserable all night and at least two weddings where the couple tried to skip out early to avoid having to smile and wave at an event they never wanted.
And open mics! Who ever thought that those were a good idea?! They aren't. Someone's drunk cousin/uncle/plus one always grabs the mic and tells some embarrassing, awful story and you can see the couple dying inside. And internet jokes! Enough with the internet jokes! They are the actual worst. No one actually thinks they are funny. The laughs that are heard are from the other drunk people in the room. Everything is funny after a few margaritas. Everything.
Because of allergies, I actually don't mind when there is a buffet at a wedding. As long as there is enough food and the lines aren't extremely long, why not? I get the whole "classy table service and set menu" thing, but I don't think buffets are tacky or gross or anything. If that's an affordable option for the bride and groom, why complain? Why complain about free food ever unless you get food poisoning (something that has happened to me at over five weddings)?
Oh, and please PLEASE stop with forcing your guests to sit through PowerPoint after PowerPoint of your baby pictures. Please. Unless the entire guest list is your close friends and family who have grown up with you and will enjoy the walk down memory lane, just don't. I was at one wedding where the PowerPoint presentations went on for forty minutes. I was actually ready to cry by the end. If you simply must do something like that, have it set up somewhere in the reception where if guests want to go look at your baby pictures, they can. I saw that done very tastefully during one couple's cocktail hour, and I actually voluntarily and happily went to go look at their picture presentation.
Yes, there will always be family member or friend group toasts that will be awkward. It is unavoidable. These people are overwhelmed with love for you and happiness about your marriage and they are going to go on and on about that time you were five and sat in a pot of pasta naked or whatever and you can try really hard to have them not do that, but someone will. The guests understand. I promise. I'm never judgy about such things, as I know that no amount of planning or prepping can stop the inevitable cringe-worthy moment. Unless, of course, you decide to do no toasts at all. But that's totally up to you.
This post is just a rant about weddings, isn't it? Oh well. You're all welcome for my thoughts. I'm going to snuggle up under my blanket and with my pillow on my couch and judge TV weddings for the rest of the day while trying to recover from whatever is going on with my body. Love to y'all!
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