I'm hardcore addicted to reality competition shows. Currently, I'm watching all the seasons of Top Chef, back seasons of Project Runway, and wishing that the original Skin Wars wasn't over. The format, the music, the fact that someone goes home every week, everything about them is gold. Fashion, dating, makeup, cooking, it doesn't matter what it is about. I will watch any competition show. Is there a show about contestants watching paint dry? I would watch it. I even suffered through a few seasons of the body-shaming Biggest Loser. Oh, and y'all remember "The Swan," that TV show that proves that everyone can be Hollywood-beautiful if they go through weeks of intensive plastic surgery? And "Bridalplasty," possibly the worst TV show ever created that my first real-world roommate and I binge-watched like there was no tomorrow. These brides wanted plastic surgery, but had to win wedding-related challenges to get a surgery off their list each week. You know it's a good show if between episodes you question what the heck you're doing with your life. I love to hate the "villains," knowing full well that the producers are manipulating the contestant and the footage of the contestant to create said "villain." But come on, Corrine from this season of The Bachelor? The 24-year-old napping nanny's girl with a need to be the center of attention and cravings for "cheese pasta" and cucumber water? Straight-up reality TV gold. "Can I steal you?" Yes, Corrine. Steal Nick! Make the other girls spew hate in their mini-interviews while I sit on my couch with a glass of wine and cackle! Who is here for the right reasons? Whose intentions are pure? Is Nick there for a wife, or for a good time? I love when a girl interrogates the Bachelor about kissing all the other girls on the show. I'm forever mad that I can't find old seasons of "Dating In The Dark" to indulge in. Or "Holidate." Anyone remember these shows? No? Yeah, I'm in deep. I've seen some things...er...shows.
And can we talk about the hosts' hushed tones when they send someone home? It's a full-on sympathy whisper. I wonder if Tyra Banks started that strange host-whisper, or if she is just the best example of it. And the way that she re-explains math to the models every show is forever my favorite thing. "There are ten of you here. Tomorrow, there will be nine. That means that one of you will go home tonight." Cue the camera cutting away to the shocked faces of the models as they realize that ten minus one is nine. And then there's Heidi Klum. Heidi might be my favorite reality TV host. She knows the market that she is in, and she doesn't take crap from anyone. And she has Tim Gunn at her side. Anyone with Tim Gunn at their side is immediately a winner. Tim Gunn is love. Tim Gunn is life. Make. It. Work.
And can we talk about literally any wedding design show ever? "Rich Bride, Poor Bride," "Say Yes To The Dress," "My Fair Wedding," if it has anything to do with people sealing their vows with kisses while plunging themselves tens of thousands of dollars in debt, I'm in. I'm so incredibly in.
I think it all started in High School with sneaking episodes of "Parental Control" on MTV whenever I could. The parents hate the boyfriend/girlfriend so they set their kid up on dates with people they choose and then the kid decides between those people and their original significant other. I was fascinated by these people. Who the heck signs up for shows like these? I don't know, but I'm so grateful that they exist. And then there was "Next." Y'all remember that show? There was a bus full of guys and they'd get off the bus one by one and try to date the girl. And when she got bored of a guy, she'd say, "NEXT!" and that guy would be done and the next guy would get off the bus. The longer they managed to date the girl, the more money they earned. I'd sit dumbfounded with my bowl of cereal, watching these absolutely trashy shows, invested in the guy earning money or hoping the girl would see through the money-grubbing guys and end up alone and happy.
Competition shows with kids! Masterchef Junior? Project Runway Junior? Child Genius? Yes. Anytime you can hear a seven-year-old say, "My wepewtashun (reputation) is on the line," it's a good show. Yes, tiny talented children. You've been waiting your whole lives for this. Make it work, small ones.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an old season of Project Runway to indulge in. What are your favorite reality shows? Tell me. Please. I need more.
Did you ever watch the show on TLC (I think) where people would ride in a taxi cab and answer trivia questions? I really liked that show. I had forgotten about that until I read this article. Oh, the nostalgia. Also, Shark Tank is really interesting and has the same intensity as elimination shows. It's about people who want to start a business with the "sharks" (very successful business people).
ReplyDeleteCash Cab!! I used to watch that every evening. And Shark Tank is so good. I love how ruthless they are in their negotiations.
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